Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.

The Kingdom Hearts franchise is one that alternates between good and...not so good. Since the last entry in the series (KH II) was great, it's only fitting that the next one is full of disappointment.

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (yes, it'll make sense in the end) is a prequel to Kingdom Hearts II, taking place after the events of Chain of Memories. You play as Roxas, who passes his days trying find out what he really is, while doing missions.

And therein lies the problem. Going on mission after mission fighting heartless may appear to be the same thing you've been doing before in different clothing, but the way that the missions are structured prove this to be wrong. First off, Organization XIII closes off certain areas of the worlds you visit so that you stay on track. It might seem like a nice way to entice the player to keep on playing so as to eventually reach the point where you can go somewhere new, but it isn't. It comes off as a way to not expand these missions into something more grandiose like the other entries in the series have done with their storylines.

Not to mention that this game gets off to an awful start. The tutorial phase lasts for about 1 to 1 and a half hours, but it seems like so much longer since it's spread among several missions that you go on with different members of the Organization. It's standard fan pandering gone awry. Though, some of the later missions where you get paired with members of the Organization are rather charming. Especially those with Xigbar, whose sarcastic tone isn't common in the series and is a breath of fresh air.

The story is more along the lines of Chain of Memories than the other two games. It's another existential crisis tale that might have been more effective if every meaningful conversation only seems to take place in one location. Yes, the clock tower is important. But you can get that point across without having a cutscene there after almost every mission. The ending is the most effective of the entire series which says a lot considering that you have to get through around 2/3 of the game before it becomes interesting.

The graphics are disappointing. It's very pixelated and even the cutscenes that are using the PS2 graphics are heavily compressed. The DS is not the right console for a 3-D action game. The battle system has taken a major step back with the removal of the reaction command, and only making Limit Break, where you go berserk for a brief period of time, more important in the gameplay. It plays like KH I and KH I isn't that fun to play after you play KH II and neither is this one. I didn't play the multi-player, but Mission Mode is quite the novelty since you can play as different members of the Organization.

The worlds that you visit are the exact same ones that were introduced in the previous games while adding some areas that don't necessarily leave much of an impression. Except the addition to Neverland, due to its amazing dullness. A bunch of rocks in the middle of the sea? So impressive!

Music-wise, the game is mostly made up of remixes of older pieces that are found in Kingdom Hearts II. But the soundtrack does include a new theme song for a character and a rather impressive mix of "Another Side, Another Story" and "Graceful Assassin" to make a song that's used in the final boss fight. Look forward to hearing that one.

As mentioned before, this game does get interesting in the later parts. The most interesting of which is the tease for Birth by Sleep that Nomura includes towards the end. That one seems like it'll be a blast to play. In the meantime, I'd only recommend playing 358/2 Days if you're a avid fan of the KH series. Everyone else might find to be a passable game if they found it in the bargain bin.

Turtles Forever Directors Cut - Streaming on December 16

You read right.

I'd heard the rumors and been informed by a friend, but just now found the proof. Anyone else miss the movie version airing? Well, here's your chance to see it.

http://www.4kids.tv/buzz/view/world-exclusive-tmnt-turtles-forever-directors-

To quote: The "Director's Cut" of the TMNT "Turtles Forever" full-length feature is being released EXCLUSIVELY online on the 4KidsTV.com video portal on Wednesday, December 16th. The "Director's Cut" has more than 12 minutes of additional TMNT footage!

This should be the version they showed at Comic-Con earliers this year. Here's to hoping we get a DVD release announcement soon too!

Bayonetta Demo (PS3).

It's been said a million times by now, but Bayonetta looks a lot like Sarah Palin. I'll never forget the amazing sense of irony that I got when I read a comment pointing that out for the first tme in the Electronic Gaming Monthly's Letters section.

Look-alikes aside, Bayonetta is the most fun I've had playing a game in a while. I've heard complaints that Bayonetta's design is a just rip-off of Millia Rage from Guilty Gear (transforming hair into weapons, including a huge dragon that finishes off the bosses), but I have to say that ignorance truly is bliss this time.

Playing this game is, to put it simply, fun. I feel like I'm playing an arcade game, going through the level hacking and slashing monsters with reckless abandon, while having a darn good time doing so. Yes, the main character getting naked is gratuitous and juvenile, but so is the entire game. The nature of playing a witch who fights angelic-like enemies with her hair and foot guns is juvenile to begin with. This game is honest about what it's about and players know what they're getting into.

The music sets up a nice, up-tempo ambiance to contrast the carnage that's going on-screen. There's nothing like tearing enemies apart while you listen to some soothing female vocals in the background.

While playing the demo, I got a feeling of familiarity after the initial feeling of "this is awesome". Turns out the director of this game, Hideki Kamiya, also did Viewtiful Joe which is another gem (somehow I didn't know that DMC, VJ, Okami and Bayonetta all came from the same guy). The similarities between VJ and Bayonetta are evident- from the rating system to the "Witch Time" that's activated from dodging your enemies at the last second.

The game does have a clunky camera at times and apparently there's some frame rate problems in the PS3 version (didn't really notice anything like this on my endp; might have been fixed while it got brought over here from Japan). Not to mention that it's only about 10 to 12 hours long, so that automatically rules out me buying this game on the first day just so I can pay $60 for it, but I'll definitely be picking Bayonetta up once it gets to the Greatest Hits line.

Belligerent Dumbledore.

Here's a little something to give you a laugh. (<-link) Everyone's favorite headmaster acts slightly different when he's not on the movie set (midly NSFW due to language)....


This...never gets old.

Final Fantasy XIII Cover Art.

As you already know if you follow Final Fantasy (or even if you don't), the cover art for Final Fantasy XIII got released this week. I don't really understand the hype over this whole thing, and at the same time I can't help but get caught up in it. The cover is a break from the usual treatment that the series gets in the US. The JP covers since FF VII have been the logo with a white background, while the US usually gets a montage of the main characters. This cover is in line with that and I appreciate the minimalistic tone. Though, why is the cover zoomed in on the PS3 version? I know it's a pedantic thing to get complain about, but everybody's mad about something when it comes to this game.

To some, it's that they changed the theme song. For others, it's that Tetsuya Nomura is working on the character designs because they hate the abundance of belts and buckles in his art style (for those people, thanks for not noticing that he's changed his style BTW). And for the amazingly weeaboo-ish part of the fanbase, it's that there won't be a Japanese track on the disc. Thankfully, I haven't heard anybody complain about Nobuo Uematsu not working on anything on this game. Don't get me wrong. Uematsu is easily my favorite composer out there, but it speaks volumes of how good Masashi Hamuzu is.

In the end, the overwhelimg majority of FF fans will still buy this game, so it's all moot.

Turtles Forever Review, Part Two

I'll finish up now with Part Two, which while lengthy, pretty much just covers the voice-over aspect of the film.

Again I won’t comment much on the 2003 show as that’s all old news here (though I will applaud each and every one of them for their performances, especially that of Scottie Ray’s Shredder, who sounds downright heartless) and will instead talk about the voice replacements for the old toon and the cast for the comics. Sadly, you read right - due to union issues (and, I suspect, to the fact that the old show is owned by an entirely different company) they were unable to get the actors back for the old TMNT, Shredder, Krang, Rocksteady, Bebop, Splinter, or April. Instead, they had to use their in-house crew and/or hire new people to sounds as close as they could to the old show’s performers. Doing so, they got a cast that was pretty hit-or-miss for the most part.

Starting with the Turtles themselves, Dan Green (better known as Yugi Moto to most fans) was cast as 80s Leonardo. He is definitely no Cam Clarke, nor does he sound it, which is why he seems to be the voice most people have complained about online. To me he’s only my third least favorite replacement though, as he at least tries hard to sound right, as you can tell and it really does fit at times if nothing else. Moving on to Johnny Castro as 80s Michelangelo, we hit my second least favorite replacement. Now don’t get me wrong, Castro does a pretty good job of sounding like Townsend Coleman’s classic performance. That’s as far as it goes though - it sounds like a decent imitation rather than an actual impersonation, and it comes off incredibly stiff in the actual acting, so most of his lines are rather badly performed. Tony Salerno as 80s Donatello is arguably the best replacement, as he sounds almost exactly like the classic actor at times, and isn’t so tied to sounding like him that his acting is stifled either. Honestly, I could watch an episode of the old show and think of his performance and not be bothered a bit, so two thumbs up for him. Sebastian Arcelus picks up the mantle of 80s Raphael. He, like Salerno’s Donny, sounds an awful lot like the original voice, though not quite as closely. He sounds a lot better than the replacement voices used in the old show itself when the main actor wasn’t around, that’s for sure. His breaking-the-fourth-wall lines are hysterically done, but it does make one miss the original actor even more. Overall, he was satisfactory though.

Going on to 80s Shredder, we hit my most hated replacement with Load Williams. His voice just reeks of bad imitation of James Avery and Jim Cummings, both of which were the perfect voices for the classic Shredder when we knew and loved him. In fact, some of Load’s lines are so bad that I want to “kick a kitten” as it were. That’s not to say he’s not trying hard, it’s just that he is not a good pick for this IMO. Bradford Cameron’s Krang voice is pretty bad as well, but captures the essence of the old show’s voice well enough that it’s not quite as annoying. Though, his voice sounds oddly like Buster from Tiny Toons at the same time…which is a bit distracting, if you know voices like I do. Any voice of Krang’s is better than the voice used in the anime OVA ‘Legend of the Super Mutants’ though. Rocksteady and Bebop are both voiced by double-billers in the cast, Johnny Castro and Bradford Cameron. They don’t speak often enough to get a full feel for their performances, so it’s hard to judge them. Overall they act just like the characters should however, so it’s hard to criticize much without saying that Castro’s Rocksteady doesn’t sound like Clarke’s. Cameron’s Bebop does keep the snort though, which was a pleasant surprise. 80s April and Splinter both only have a handful of lines themselves, just barely enough to judge from really. These are arguably the best sound-alike’s if not the best acting like the old show’s cast as well. Rebecca Soler’s performance as April brings out both the newswoman desperate to get a scoop and the damsel in distress qualities of the character well, and does it sounding believable Dave Wills’ Splinter sounds more masterly than fatherly, which is how that version of the character should come off, and he sounds so wise that it’s hard to question if it’s not actually the classic actor after all.

And now onto the comics cast, which were easier and harder to nail at the same time I would think. On the one hand, they didn’t have to imitate or try to sound like anyone else’s performance, but on the other, they had to create from scratch a voice that would be acceptable to the hundreds of fans who have been waiting for years to hear what these versions of the characters would sound like. First off is Jason Griffith as Mirage Leonardo. He would be better known to anime and video game fans as the voice of Sonic in Sonic X and the games now, as well as the 4Kids actor behind Ussop in One Piece. You read right - the dreaded 4Kids One Piece actor for Ussop. Push all those past, bad performances from your mind though, because you are going to be blown away by just how…well, how badass he sounds as Leo. Some have already compared it to Dirty Harry’s voice, which I can only assume is a good comparison. All I know is his performance, mixed with lines taken verbatim from the comic itself, make this the most enjoyable of the voices to listen to in the comic cast.

The rest of the Mirage-verse characters don’t have near as many lines so it’s hard to comment on much besides the sound of the voice. Bradford Cameron pops up in the cast list once more as Mirage Michelangelo, and it’s definitely a unique voice here. It’s hard to find a word to describe it, other than snarky, but it definitely fits the character who, while goofy like all Mikey’s, is a lot more rough and ready for violence. Pete Capella steps into the shoes of Mirage Donatello, and is the most forgettable of the performances. It’s not that he sounds bad for Donny, but it’s not that he sounds good either. The performance is kind of just there, so it would have been nice to hear more of him to see what he could do with the role. For Mirage Raphael, we have veteran voice actor Sean Schemmel (who in addition to the well-known character of Goku from Dragon Ball Z, performed various smaller roles such as Nobody in the 2003 Turtles toon). After Mirage Leo and Mikey, Raph would be a hard character to follow up with vocally, but Schemmel delivers in spades, sounding just as fierce, violent, and sometimes bloodthirsty, as the angry one of the Turtles should sound in a more violent setting. The last of the Mirage-verse people is Shredder himself, who does show up albeit only for a few lines, which are performed by Dave Wills. I know the whole idea behind this Shredder appearing was to point out what a joke his involvement is compared to even the classic toon’s Shredder, but given the fact that he was still supposed to be a merciless assassin, they could have used a better voice here. He sounds a bit too throaty and guttural to be taken seriously, even for a throw-away villain.

And that brings this lengthy review to a close. I really can’t think of anything else to cover without going more overboard than I already have. If you missed the movie airing, the 3-part episode version airing has already started and will be over in 3 weeks. I’m sure it’s lurking online somewhere though, based on a commercial I saw, maybe even on the 4Kids site itself. Let’s just hope we get DVD news soon.

In the end, I give Turtles Forever a 9 out of 10. It is SO close to being perfect in my opinion, but what few glaring flaws it does have, I have to dock it a point for. If you’re a Turtles fan or were one growing up, this movie is for you. I’d like to thank 4Kids for giving us what is easily their best work ever, and I’d like to thank Eastman and Laird for creating such great characters 25 years ago. Go Green Machine!

Turtles Forever Review, Part One

Cowabunga dudes! Gyt here, and this time with my most anticipated (in my opinion anyway) review yet. That’s right, this time I’m here to talk about the much talked about by myself film, Turtles Forever.

For those that don’t know, Turtles Forever is a direct-to-DVD (or rather, direct-to-TV, as a DVD deal is still in negotiations apparently) film put together by 4Kids Entertainment, in honor of the 25th anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It utilizes not only the universe of the 2003 cartoon series put together by 4Kids themselves (which, if you haven’t seen it yet, you really should), but also features the 1980s and 90s universe that a lot of us grew up with and loved. It even features a bit in the original Mirage comics universe drawn by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, without which none of the other TMNT universes we all know and love wouldn’t exist.

To start from the beginning, here’s a short synopsis of the film, spoiling as little as possible while still giving you a good chunk of what’s going on. Hun and his Purple Dragons (of the 2003 series) are busy carrying out a heist for some technology. They are interrupted suddenly by four mysterious figures however, which is captured by the news crew there. Splinter (2003) is at home watching TV when the report about four blurry green figures trying to stop the heist is broadcast. Sending the Turtles out to figure out what’s going on since they haven’t been out all night, they arrive just in time to find four other Turtles - none other than the TMNT themselves from the 1980s series - held captive by Hun. A fight ensues, and in the end the Turtles (both sets) escape, and after some cajoling by Splinter and the 2003 Turtles, they get the story out of their counterparts.

While battling their Shredder in his Technodrome, a portal was opened that was intended to send the bad guys back to Dimension X again, but damage to the computer caused it to send Shredder and his croneys, as well as the Turtles, into the 2003 series universe. The mission is clear: Stop that Shredder and send everyone back into their dimension. But fighting him causes Shredder (1980s) to realize that if this new world has it’s own Turtles, than surely it has it’s own Shredder as well. Now with Ch’rell, the Utrom Shredder that was the most ruthless foe the 2003-verse Turtles ever faced among them once again, can either set of Turtles possibly prevail?

And that’s the first morsel of the story. It’s harder to talk about and explain than it is to understand, what with the multiple same names to throw around, but it’s clear as day in the film itself. There’s a lot of ground to cover in this review even after that, so I’ll limit myself to a few choice categories - How the 1980s-verse is represented, how the story utilizes the mixture of the mythos, how the Mirage comics characters are represented, the overall animation, and the overall voice-over. Again, I could go on for hours about this film, so I’ll try to stop myself from injecting more than I have too.

We’ll start from the beginning and cover the way they show the 1980s universe characters. This is where one of my few complaints for the film come into play. Those who never grew up on the 80s Turtles and will never see them are sorely misinformed as to it’s quality in Forever. In this, the Turtles themselves are shown as nothing but goofballs with very limited fighting abilities, and the Shredder and his men are shown as chump change villains who pose no real threat. Now, don’t get me wrong - the old show was pretty corny at times, they did use their surroundings more often than their weapons (something that I DID like seeing well represented here), and the Shredder was pretty goofy for an evil guy (how else would he put up with Rocksteady and Bebop?). But not realizing that they were in danger and needed to fight? Running in fear and crying when saved in some battles? What happened to ‘Turtles fight with honor’, one of their creed’s from the original toon? It’s clear that 4Kids was a tad bit biased toward their own show while making this, which was to be expected. But when most of the excitement of this stemmed from seeing the classic versions of the characters again, that’s a bad thing to do.

The two universe’s merge quite well though, showcasing just how similar and different the various Turtles themselves, as well as their allies and enemies, are. We don’t get a whole lot of the two Leos together on the field, which is disappointing, but the rest of the 2K3 Turtles are shown together with their counterparts enough to showcase it nicely. 2K3 Mikey loves 80s Mikey (the entire 80s TMNT for that matter), as he finds their humor refreshing. 2K3 Donny finds his 80s counterpart’s science to be baffling, as well as his technique in that field, but in the end has to respect it. And 2K3 Raph of course is appalled by the 80s crew, calling them ‘four more Mikeys’, but is especially annoyed by his dimensional brother who, rather than angry like him, is rude and sarcastic.

The story further utilizes the combining of the mythos using how much more prominent the ooze or mutagen that mutated the Turtles was in the classic show, as well as how frequently it was used. To avoid spoiling as much as possible, lets just say that a mutant army is involved at one point, which is where we get 2003-verse cameos of movie villains Tokka and Rahzar. It also has great use of both the insane technology that 80s Donny is capable of, as well as the massive technology of Dimension X that is at Krang’s disposal. In fact, we even see the strength of Dimension X and Utrom technology combined (does a suped-up Technodrome sound intriguing?).

Though they are shown only for a little bit, the Mirage comics universe is pretty well represented as well. To be honest this is the canon with which I’m least familiar, having only read the first three comic books via the official Turtles site myself. But it seems like while Forever takes place at the end of the 2003 cartoon series and sometime near the end of the 1980s one, it takes place during the first issue of the comic series somehow, so no knowledge of the comics is necessary to enjoy this film - though it certainly makes a lot of the jokes in this part of the film funnier. The Mirage Turtles themselves don’t get a lot of screen time, but they get enough to not be dues ex machina characters at least, which is what I was worried about initially. They, and their world, are animated in very nice black and white, to mirror the original comics once again, which were B&W themselves. You even get to see Mirage Shredder, albeit briefly, again an in-joke to the original comics. Believe it or not, Shredder was never meant to be the recurring, ultimate villain for the Turtles. He is pretty much dealt with by the end of issue 1 of the comics, though he does serve purposes later on I believe.

Coming now to the animation itself, we reach another area where I actually have a few complaints, and one of the few areas where I can touch upon the 2003 universe itself, which I’ve avoided because while cool, it’s honestly just there to tie all this together, thematically at least. In other words, all the excitement of this movie is for seeing the classic toon characters again, as well as the comic universe. The 2003 universe characters look pretty nice in this film, except for one glaring problem with the designs. When the 2003 series started, it had extremely detailed designs and beautiful animation, but by the last season entitled ‘Back to the Sewers’, the entire show had been re-hauled to more closely resemble the CGI film that had come out. The designs of April, Casey, Karai, and even Splinter were almost completely redone to look like the CG designs. For Splinter this was jarring but not outright awful, and Casey just looks stockier really, but Karai and April especially look almost nothing like their previous designs, in fact they look downright horrid in my books. The Turtles themselves became blockier and less smooth, had their pupils shown rather than the glowing white eyes we’d grown to love, and their masks now seem to shine as if they weren’t made of fabric. Fortunately the eyes were returned to the white glow for this film, but other than that the ugly BttS designs are in full swing.

The animation of the classic series and the comics are much more satisfactory. Other than a few off-design moments, the classic characters look EXACTLY like we all love and remember them, and considering how long it’s been since they’ve been drawn as well as this being an entirely different studio, that’s nothing to glaze over. The comics universe look a bit awkward in motion to be honest, but that’s only because they were kept so close to their original art style which doesn’t lend itself well to actual animation. Even the animation of the classic toon’s world and the comic’s world looks different than the 2003’s world, so as to keep the feel closer to how they were in their original mediums, so overall it was animated quite beautifully.

This review has gone on really long, so as to not kill everyone, I’ll finish up with Part 2 tomorrow. Until then - Turtle Power!